34 Motivational, Relatable, & Funny Real Estate Quotes Every Agent Should Read

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Real estate isn’t an easy job. No weekends, late nights, early mornings … and the vacations … do you even recognize that word? The payoff is you get to spend your days helping people make their dreams come true.

In today’s competitive market, it takes a lot of skill — and very little sleep — to get your buyers the house of their dreams. So, don’t you deserve at least five minutes to laugh a little and feel inspired? I hope that’s what this list of funny, inspirational, and deservedly famous real estate quotes will give you. Happy reading!

Funny Real Estate Quotes

1. “I am basically a full-time psychologist who shows houses every now and then.” -Dori Warner

2. “If I were a professional wrestler, I’d want a name that strikes fear in most people. Something like, ‘The Underwriter’.” -Lighter Side of Real Estate

3. “Judging by your pins, you’ll need a house with 14 bathrooms, 27 living rooms, and a master closet the size of a small village.” -Someecards

4. “Sleep is for people without access to the MLS” -Lighter Side of Real Estate

5. “Please, tell me more about how you’re an expert in real estate because you watch HGTV.” -Someecards

6. “A real estate agent has two property listings. Now add 11 more. What does the agent have now? Happiness. That agent has happiness.” -Tim Dulany

7. “The neighbors always leave their sprinklers on, which is a little bit annoying. It’s a source of constant irrigation.” -LaffGaff.com

8. “Why, yes … that’d be fantastic if your parents, grandmother, and second cousin came along while I showed you houses today.” -Amy Chrisman-Williams

Inspirational Real Estate Quotes

9. “Real estate is an imperishable asset, ever increasing in value. It is the most solid security that human ingenuity has devised. It is the basis of all security and about the only indestructible security.” –Russell Sage

10. “There have been few things in my life which have had a more genial effect on my mind than the possession of a piece of land.” -Harriet Martineau

11. “To be successful in real estate, you must always and consistently put your clients’ best interests first. When you do, your personal needs will be realized beyond your greatest expectations.” -Anthony Hitt

12. “Real estate sales was perfect training for the experience to go into public life because you learn to accept rejection, learn to meet new people, learn to work with people, and find common ground. That’s the way you sell houses … that’s also the way you win over constituency.” -Johnny Isakson

13. “Whether you’re an obstetrician or a third-grade teacher or a real estate agent, you know when you’re doing good work. You’re passionate about it.” -Susan Isaacs

14. “Art, like real estate, is half science, half gut. We go to a lot of art fairs. We have two full-time art experts who help me make all the decisions about how to build the corporate and personal collection and what we put in our developments. We don’t let interior designers pick art for us.” -Jorge M. Perez

15. “In the real estate business you learn more about people, and you learn more about community issues, you learn more about life, you learn more about the impact of government, probably than any other profession that I know of.” -Johnny Isakson

16. “Not only do you have to have content in your digital and inbound real estate marketing strategies, but content that gets an LOL, gets read, noticed, shared, clicked, and commented on is how you make a human connection in today’s noisy, multi-device world.” -Laura Monroe

17. “In a crowded marketplace, fitting in is a failure. In a busy marketplace, not standing out is the same as being invisible.” -Seth Godin

18. “There was no big break. There were just years and years of work.” -Paula Del Nunzio

19. “Success is actually a short race — a sprint fueled by discipline just long enough for habit to kick in and take over.” -Gary Keller

Famous Real Estate Quotes

20. “The best investment on earth is earth.” -Louis Glickman

21. “Real estate cannot be lost or stolen, nor can it be carried away. Purchased with common sense, paid for in full, and managed with reasonable care, it is about the safest investment in the world.” -Franklin D. Roosevelt

22. “Owning a home is a keystone of wealth — both financial affluence and emotional security.” -Suze Orman

23. “Land monopoly is not only monopoly, but it is by far the greatest of monopolies; it is a perpetual monopoly, and it is the mother of all other forms of monopoly.” -Winston Churchill

24. “Ninety percent of all millionaires become so through owning real estate. More money has been made in real estate than in all industrial investments combined. The wise young [person] or wage earner of today invests [their] money in real estate.” -Andrew Carnegie

25. “Landlords grow rich in their sleep without working, risking or economizing.” –John Stuart Mill

26. “Not following up with your prospects is the same as filling up your bathtub without first putting the stopper in the drain.” -Michelle Moore

27. “Buyers decide in the first eight seconds of seeing a home if they’re interested in buying it. Get out of your car, walk in their shoes and see what they see within the first eight seconds.” -Barbara Corcoran

28. “Expansion always, in all ways.” -Ryan Serhant

29. “Before you start trying to work out which direction the property market is headed, you should be aware that there are markets within markets.” -Paul Clitheroe

30. “If you don’t own a home, buy one. If you own a home, buy another one. If you own two homes, buy a third.” -John Paulson

31. “The best time to buy a home is always five years ago.” -Ray Brown

32. “Buy land, they’re not making it anymore.” -Mark Twain

33. “Don’t wait to buy real estate. Buy real estate and wait.” –Will Rogers

34. “Find out where the people are going and buy the land before they get there.” -William Penn Adair

During the time it’s taken you to read these quotes, you likely have 25 new emails, so I’ll let you get back to it. Oh, and here are 10 real estate email templates to help with that full inbox.

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